Tamara will be back with Simon.

Tamra, I'm so glad you moved on from Simon.. Just finished watching the lst show on the DVR..I so feel your pain, still trying to get out of a relationship of 24 yrs. My husband does the same thing Simon did to you, I sure did wake up this season watching the 2 of you. I hate the control, My husband does the same with the clothing i'm also 42 & he will tel me you look like a child or an old lady! I just wanted to Thank-you for opening my eyes to what i have been dealing with...Love ya girl!!! Amy in Michigan

Tamra needs to break the chains with Vikki. Vikki is not in the relationship with Simon. Vikki dont give the best advice.

Have watched this show with interest and was surprised by how classy you remained in different situations. As you were able to make fun of yourself in the worst situations. You are extremely beautiful and have an infectious personality which is an awesome combination in the game of life. You neither use people nor degrade which is quite rare within the environment you preside at this stage of your life. Myself being a male of 48yrs, think that your husband's insecurities stem from financial mishaps and he felt threatened by whomever or whatever. Not that u care but I am happily married with two children and do feel badly that you have to restart your life again, please don't think people don't care. Stay strong and laugh your laugh, you're a winner and will be now and tomorrow!

Tamara, I don't think you have done anything to Gretchen and you should ignore the people that say otherwise. You know what is in your heart and that is all that matters.

You are my favorite OC housewife! I'm sorry about the divorce. From everything we've seen on TV, it appears you are making the right decision and in the long run you will be better off. After 25 years of marriage, I got in a divorce. It was a very painful experience and it took several years to heal; however, the fact I didn't have to live with a man that was constantly critical of me was an immediate relief. Verbal abuse cannot be tolerated.

Stay strong, dear lady! I'm thinking good thoughts for you and wishing you the best in the coming months.

Tamara: I was married for 23 years before it ended. I didn't realize until after I stepped out of the marriage how controlling and verbally abusive he was. What I also realized after the fact is that while I didn't truly feel loved in the marriage, in retrospect I realized that he loved me the the best way he knew how. While that wasn't enough for me.....I realized that he loved me as much as he was capable. So....don't beat yourself up about any of it. You did the best you could. I'm sure Simon loves you the best he could, although it wasn't enough for what you needed. One of my daughters was only 6 at the time and I felt horrible about turning her life upside down, but it was so toxic and we all walked around on eggshells. I told her that we fell out of love but still loved them and that was all that matters. They became very grounded after the divorced. No more walking on eggshells, and we could all be ourselves.
I have friends who have known me for a really long time and say that after I divorced, my face looked younger. Less stressed. So.....enjoy the new chapter of your life. Cut your hair, do something drastic to mark this new adventure. Your children will be so much happier when your happy. I know that sounds like such a cliche, but I'm living proof. Good luck to you. Kathy in San Antonio

I love the show and have been watching since it first aired! Tamra, I think you are beautiful and being 41 is great! It is always sad when a marriage doesn't work, but it would have been wasted time if you stayed in it. Simon was totally controlling and I recognize it because I have been there. I found myself holding my breath when he would make his comments to you, critqueing you,telling you what you need to fix. Wow.....God has someone out there for you just look to him because you will be blessed! Take care of yourself and your children first than everything will fall into place.

Simon is a very controlling husband! He should be proud that you are so beautiful and stop harrassing you about wearing clothes that "a twenty year old would wear". As we housewives reach forty and our children are no longer as needy, it is only natural to want to have a little more freedom away from the house. He should not only respect that completely natural need in you, his wife, but should also embrace it. It makes us "housewives" happier and we bring that happiness home to the family!

WHAT SIMON SAID TO YOU UNDER THE BRIDGE, WHEN YOU WERE IN THE MOMENT, ABOUT HIS FRIENDS TELLING HIM TO WATCH OUT FOR YOU 13 YEARS AGO WAS THE WORSE THING TO SAY. LIKE A KNIFE TO THE HEART . ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY IN FACT. WELL I THINK YOU ARE THE BEST GIRL ON THE SHOW. HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH ALL THE NEGETIVITY ? HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYWAY, WELL STAY STRONG. LOVE YOU! BRET

Hi Tamara - Just wanted to say I love you this season and have so much respect for you has a mom!!!!! I so Know what you are going through at 40ish and in a marriage of hate and love. So there right now if they had a Colorado Housewive show I would have a similiar season. You are amazing!!

Luv Ya!!!

okay i just have to say i watched all the seasons back to back and holy crap! your like the spawn of satan or somethin!! god i wish your husband was still with you and someone called gretchen in the middle of the night with some BS story about you.. you need to learn compassion and not be such a close minded bimbo.. seriously put yourself in someone elses shoes for a change.. you would never expect anyone to believe that shit about you so why do you assume this jay guy who called you would tell you the truth? you trust him more then someone you've known for over a year.. god your a disgusting person.. the offical reason why i hate this show now thanx

Tamra, I was so happy when you joined the cast and absolutely love you! I am sad to hear about your marriage. You are the hottest housewife and a very strong woman. I know you will make it through this trying time.

Tamra... I'm a big believer make your marriage work but in your case when you could rewind and fast forward to see who is wrong or right it still show Simon being controlling and not considerate this is not healthy for no one and especially in front of kids. Your best bet is to find someone to love you and accept you for who you are not what he would like for you to be. Girl you Hot and you Still Got It Going On!!! So keep your head up and focus on the most important thing of all being a Mom to your children everything else will fall in place.

ok so i absolutely love the show! I just finished watching the reunion show of season 4, and all I can say is WOW!!! The feud between Gretchen and Tamra is ridiculous. Tamra, if you were honest with yourself you would probably have to admit you felt threatened by Gretchen. She's young and beautiful, but you're young and beautiful too! Just because you're 41 doesn't mean a thing, you're only as young as you feel. Ladies bury the hatchet, life is too short to be bickering about meaningless crap! I love all of you and I wish nothing but the best for each and everyone of you.

Tamra, one word of advice from a kid whose been through many of her dads divorces, keep the kids away from all the turmoil. All they need to know is mommy and daddy love them very much no matter what!

Sorry to hear your marriage is over but if you ever in South Carolina I would love to take you out!! You are definetly the hottest woman on that show and Gretchin will never hold a candle to you!!

I think you are great and you have every right to doubt Gretchens so called love for Jeff.I think she used him for his money and had her lover on the side for everytbing Jeff couldnt give her

I don't know where to begin. I used to like you, Tamra, but watching your struggle in your relationship ( tv style ) is painful.
Simon is very threatened by anything that is out of his control. He does not like his world to be disturbed,especially when he can't call the shots.
On tv, we saw it with your oldest son, and we see it with any person, mostly women, who have a brain. I believe that as a woman, you need to know where your loyalties lie. Sometimes, it seems like you don't know which way is up and you flow with whatever someone else says, a bit wishy washy.
You say that have people'[s back, but you don't. You always come back to Simon. He is a tool! On several episodes this season, he says that he"let's you" do this "let's you do that" and he doesn't say anything about it. He says that his friends' say that you (tamra) are lucky that he is soooo patient and has stayed around this long. Ayone else would have left. He is not all that and a BAG OF CHIPS.

I THINK GRETCHEN IS THE NICEST ONE ONE THE SHOW,,, I LOVE HER LAUGH...TAMARA LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!!!!!

Tamara,
Hello. So sad to hear your marriage is ending. Take a deep breath and buckle up because it will probably be a rough year for you and your kids. Find a good friend who will listen and give sound advise. Remember your words and actions are taped for the most part (at least the entertaining or juicy gossip ones), and your kids will have the chance to see those. Also remember when a marriage fails and kids are involved they usually feel the abandonment and coldness between the divorcees. I hope happiness for you, Simon, and your kids.

Tamara you're so fake. You talk about Vikki behind her back then claim to be her friend.

Tamara, I watched the show the day that you had lunch with your mom, and my heart went out to you,I understand when life gets so hard, and you cant eat or sleep, on top of that you have someone following you around and you have to try to put on a happy face, and when all you want to do is hide from the world. I have walked in those shoes and its not easy, but it does help having little ones around, you do not have the time to think of yourself, that is a good thing, My kids are grown and gone and I have had some pretty bad things happen to me and I wish in my heart they were still with me,it would help me go on day by day. I wish you and your whole family the best and dont settle for less, I love your show and you will be ok, as my mom used to tell me this too shall pass, You are very lucky to have your mom, my moms been gone 2 years and boy there is no one like your mom when you are down and out. She will be there for you and that will help you out. Take care of yourself

Tamra...

I saw you the other day at the Home Goods Store in Ladera. My heart goes out to you. It was hard not to say keep your head up. I went through a nasty divorce. And it is very hard being a single mother. Luckily you have someone that is involved with your children. I couldn't imagine how hard it is to be in the spotlight and having everyone judging your every move. No one is perfect. And no one should ever judge.

Take care...
M

This is the first time i have gone to a blog of anyones. I think it will be my last.some of the people are so mean. I myself like all the housewives of oc. I see alittle of me in all of them. Not one of you girls are perfect on this show, just like none of us out here are. We all say things we should not say, act badly at times when we shouldnt, and just do silly things.So when i resd things like how happy they are that your husband left you or what ever, it makes me really sad. And that you are trash and so on. I agree that you all put yourself out there to the world to see, so none of you girls should be shocked about these really mean things that are being said by those who have nothing better to do. I really like all you girls on the show, And i see the good in all of you. And i dont think any of you are trash or sluts, or dumb. I just see a lot of women who are not the same, you are all your own person. Good luck sweetie with your life and your kids and i hope that maybe you can work your life out with your husband.

Tamra you were borderline obsessed with Gretchen. Why was her life any of your concern? She's a grown woman, and if you should just mind your own business. Your marriage was not going well yet you were so preoccupied with Gretchen. Plus you were so two faced in the Vickie & Simon situation it was not funny!!! You would tell Vickie about your problems with Simon only to turn on her when Simon got mad. He accused her of being jealous of your marriage & the only reason she was involved is because YOU involved her. Then you talk about her the way you did on the trip & Lynn's party. Oh well, I hope you learned something about yourself & can change for the better.
Oh yea, you did seem to be jealous of Gretchen. You fancied yourself the hottest housewife then she showed up & you felt threatened. It showed all over your face, every time you were in her company. You manipulated & set out to turn all the other ladies against her & to sabotage her every chance you got. Definitely not endearing qualities, in my opinion.

Tamera Tamera Tamera

Well I have empathy for your situation with Simon but can't help to feel that karma came back to bite you in the a**. You came out a very beautiful strong housewife then in a blink of an eye turned ugly. I have never seen so much malicious actions taken toward someone. You verbally say you are not jealous of Gretchen however ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. You truly need to remember that next time you face off with Gretchen or any other person for that matter. What she does or anyone else actions that do not affect you is none of your business.
Of all this I truly hope & pray your children are safe & doing well. Simon seems to have his head on straight & doesn't seem to be affected by the lime light so for that I hope he can keep you modest & grounded.

Tamra, I am glad to see that your oldest son is on his way to a brighter future!

My only concern with you is how you put yourself in the middle when it comes to your husband and Vicki. Have you completely lost your mind!? You never get in the middle! Your husband is your husband, Vicki is your friend. When you sit down and think of the importance of people, it should be GOD, husband and then your kids. Everyone else should fall to the side. If you were to lose your husband would Vicki be there to help you pay your bills or take care of your kids? You need to get your priorities in order. Marriage is a VERY sacred union that should not be taken likely. Don't let Vicki be an issue in your household, you have enough issues already. If you don't do anything else, talk to your husband. Let him know you are NOT happy, quit letting your marriage fall to the sides. He talks to you as if you have NO opinion because you let him. He doesn't treat you the way you would like because you let him. Have a serious conversation with him about how you feel and what you want to change with your relationship. YOU DESERVE THAT!

Unbelieveable!! Why are you all standing in judgement? We all have said and done things as imperfect people. "YE WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE" God is the only one who can pass judgement on another living human being.

Tamra I know you can get passed these nasty rude people....KEEP YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH!! AND DON'T LET WHAT THESE RUDE PEOPLE ARE SAYING...BECAUSE... "STICKS AND STONE WILL BREAK YOUR BONES BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME"

Put God first and you will see how your life will change!

God Bless,

Mia

Tamara u r beautiful, but beauty alone is vain...I actually dont have a problem with u & your pending divorce, i thought simon was too controlling..however, you can say what u want and put a bow on top of it and make it look pretty, but its not. u are and make not mistakes absolutely judgemental,hypocritical and a little no a lot more jealous than u r willing to admit. I mean really sweetie, Y do u care so much about Gretchen? and stop saying u dont cuz u do. Her vajay jay is none of your business, U going on blogs and to any and everyone who would listen to talk about her, it just makes u look pretty sad.. so what shes hot, so are u just, if you werent so jealous u and gretchen would probably be friends. i dont know if its your marital situation thats got u so mean this season, but u have had it out for Gretchen since she came to the oc, u keep talking about teh horrible things she said on her blog, but u talkd about her as fast and as soon as u could. N this is y u r going thru what u r going thru now..let it go, remember u get what u give...it doesnt really matter be the bigger person, b/c @ the end of the day u started this with your jealously, so what if a man called u so what i've known people whove done worse guess what... i dont care its not your buisness nor your place,

You know your focus should have stayed on your family and not on always wanting to go with the girls or complain about Gretchen. I know sometimes husbands can be a little controlling, but did anything change from the beginning of your marriage until now. Did his ways change as far as being controlling as you might say. Sometimes we all need to get away, but when you got married he didn't just become your husband, he became your friend also. I would rather go away with my husband, then my girlfriends, sure maybe hang out for a while with them, get a bite to eat or something, but I have so much more fun with the one that I love. Gretchen may not be perfect, but who is, she can do what she likes with her life and with whomever she wants to do it with, why should that affect you in anyway. SHE IS SINGLE. Stop bad mouthing her to everyone, you didn't like what she said about you, but you are doing the same thing to her.

Tamara,

You spend more time worrying about what Gretchen is doing (who she happens to be single & has no one to answer to)and listening to friends that you don;t realise that your own marriage was sinking and was ignorant to that fact.

Your husband and family come first NOT your so called friends giving you choices to choose.If PPl marriages work when they only see their spouses part-time then it is not a marriage.

Get it together and make it work with your husband.

Tamra you are really having a lot of issues on the show.Some are your own doing! Why are you so obbessed with who Gretchen is sleeping with? She is moving on with her life, so give it a rest.Maybe if you put as much interest in your son he wouldn't have had to go to jail. You are so angry that your little life is falling apart. you don't want anyone else to be happy. Get rid of simple Simon and go find your next husband.

Tamra is a true case of Trailer Park Trash!

I feel Simon Barney finally woke up and filed for Divorce from his cheating wife- how dare Tamra treat Gretchen so mean - Tamra needs to look at herself in the mirror and stop acting so high and mighty when she know that she has no money and back to the trailer park!

Oh well Tamra......What comes around.....Goes around....all the bad things you have done to people will bite you in the ass 10 times worst!

All of you MEAN people who are passing judgement on Tamra's actions are hippocrates. What exactly do you think you are being with YOUR rude statements? You are certainly not being NICE. Everyone has the right to their own opinions. If you had cameras following you through every second of your life then cutting out whatever they pleased editing out all of your "normal and undramatic" days to produce "Good TV" no one would look nice. The people you see on TV are the people that porducers want them to be not who they actually are.

GET RID OF SIMON!! He is an egotistical asshole!

I love the show I think that no matter if Gretchen did the things you said It's her business .and about the girls weekend I totally get why Vikki was upset if you don't go anywhere without your husband you should have just declined

Tamara, good to read your blog and see you are upbeat.
Advice from someone who has been there-stand by your man and a true friend would never come between you two. If you can only be a friend on their terms, they are not a true friend. Don't let anyone make you feel you are dependant and controlled because you would rather spend time with your husband and children than on juvenile girls gone wild getaways. Those trips are fine for single gals but I am sorry, marriage and family should come first. Husbands should be your best friend, all others, seconds. It is fun to watch the interaction of the wives AND the husbands. I wish you all the best

Why dont people get IT?

On your behalf.... I assume you are reading your blogs which are peppered with "get over your Jealousy of Gretchen" and then you may peek at the supportive feedback she continues to get, That must be hard for you. You probably cannot understand why she is getting more people on her side so you might feel the need to expose her so others might finally get it. You keep digging yourrself deeper by trying to burry her. Seems like a waste of your energy.

Take the high road. Judgement is the low road most traveled and it goes in circles

Congratulations on your new independence! It seems to give you new energy - healthy balance is hard to find when you are a mom and wife.

Your tough love on G would be better served dirrected towards your son.

YOLO
(you only live once)

Tamra, I love the show and your personality. I agree with you regarding Gretchen.

Tamra,

I love the show and I like you and Gretchen, but I just believe we should keep minding our own business, I mean we all have issues and well lets just concentrate on our problems rather then to see what the others are doing, we jump to judgment right away, remember only God can judge us and maybe she learned from her mistakes and only she know the truth so lets just wait for God to show everything clearly then we will now who is right but for now I think you have enough with your own issues, I just hope your marriage works, I recently got divorced and its not a pretty feeling...........
Wish you the best....... ; )

to the viewer named tawn love your comment

Tamra, your rock. I agree with your feelings about Gretchen, and glad you bonded with Lynn. You do not have to get along with everyone and the others should not be forcing you or egging you on. Of course, the key is to be cordial. The show has become so adversarial ever since Gretchen joined in. She doesn't belong with this group but unfortunately her antics bring ratings. Keep standing your ground. If I ever bump into you in Newport, I'm going to High-5 you!

I cannot wait til you post a new blog. Til then I hope you read this! I just watched tonight's episode. You and Vicky are ridiculous. Why are you so jealous of Gretchen? I mean other than the fact that she is prettier, hotter, younger and has a better personality than you:)

I love you Tamra! You rock and are the hottest housewife. I too was a young mother and kept my looks. And work hard at still keeping my relationship exciting. You please and do for yourself. No one is perfect and people commenting on you is so blah!!! We all have said and did things. But on with it. I love that you call Gretchen out. And love love love when you said "You prey on old men!!" that was a true moment and i laughed so hard! Love and support you!

Hello! Sorry klooper in place of my english jer, buti very nice re say gJ$)Kd!!!.

I love the show, but was so annoyed at your behavior. It was so clear that once Gretchen joined the cast your insecurities came to the surface and she stole the spotlight and as far as I am concerned, the title of hottest housewife. To say you were not jealous is so far from the truth, because your actions clearly proved otherwise. In my opinion, you try way to hard to be cool instead of just being yourself. You were a total hypocrite this season and your cat claws were so unattractive. Don't try so hard Tamara and maybe you will be liked more. Be yourself, be nice and you will be liked by others.

you too need to be nice. so mean spirited and there is not point in all that. and your language?!

Tamra,

I felt for you when you had the re-union with your father and it was good to see you two reconnect. My father past when I was 17, you had me in tears.

As for Gretchen I was paying attention to what she was saying about "her Friend" oh no he was a STOCKER first, oh then a ex boyfriend that she never dated..oh then a friend of the family... if she could have kept her story straight then maybe I would feel bad for her.. but you called it as you saw it and as it was. I do believe she is a very insecure woman and trying to grab an identity ..namely yours. I think she should donate the Harley to a cancer society to auction off it would be the right thing to do.

If my future husband was sick with cancer in the hospital I wouldn't be basking in the sun by some lake or at every event that took place in the neighbourhood.. I would be beside him till the end.

Thank You for calling her out... you certainly had her frazzled...

I hope that your father takes a bigger part in your life and gets to know your beautiful children.

Tamra, you are obviously jealous which brought out your vicious nature. How low classed you were on the re-union show. Have you never heard of "Mind your own business, or if you haven't anything nice to say"???
You are not the hottie you think you are. I saw the nightclub episode where you displayed your jealous side with your husband. Your dancing was a joke - you looked like a has-been stripper.
Gretchen is naturally beautiful, a lovely free spirit.
You and Vicki trying to put a slant on your past catty remarks makes me turn the channel to other real housewives shows.I've watched from the beginning. No more.

Just wanted to comment that I have always been a fan of you Tamra but since watching this season I lost alot of respect for you. I just seen who the real Tamra is. I actally feel kind of sorry for you for making a complete ass out of yourself. But I will say that my husband and I just watched your reunion show and we both were disgusted at how low you went with Gretchen but towards the end of the show we both we laughing at how jealous you were it was written all over your face and your low blows showed it all. Because of you Tamra that reunion show was my last show I will watch of the real housewives. Its gone a little to white trash for me

Karma is a bitch though- good luck with that one